Maxaroni!

The cat that is! Last week Robin and went and picked up the cutest little kitten ever! We were co-captains in the effort to adopt him and welcome him into the home, but we have since agreed that Max is, in fact, my new cat. He has been an (almost literal) ray of sunshine in my life the last 10 days. He is soooo loving and wants to be wherever I am, preferably on my lap or playing close by. I didn't realize how much I needed some constant, unconditional love and attention (not to mention a little purpose beyond trying to sort myself and my life out, which I am a little weary of).

The other cats of the household have not welcomed him so willingly, as was to be expected. Pickle spent the first week growling, moaning, and generally stating her various levels of upset vocally whenever she even heard him meow. She's already coming around though and I'm sure she and Max will be playing with one another soon. Buddy on the other hand...he at least hasn't terrorized the little one, but has pretty much decided to live outside. He'll come in and eat for a few minutes until he sees Max, or remembers that Max exists, and he can barely handle it. He'll stop mid-chew and beg at the door to be let out again. If you can't solve your problems, run from them....right??? It is starting to cool off here a fair bit though (much sooner than last year) and he is as picky about warm weather as I am, so will have to get over Max's presence if he wants to sleep inside.

Beyond the new kitten, life feels a little like a grey blur most of the time. Maybe particularly because it was literally grey and rainyish for about 10 days this month, which is unusual around here. Work is still, well, work--although I'm very grateful to have it. On top of having "it" most of my working hours have been massage hours (whether for myself or the chiropractors office) which is slightly monumental (although it would be nice if there were a few more hours...but, with time, I know that will happen). Besides work, I have been...um, well, maybe resting? Sort of not expecting anything out of myself beyond what it takes to get through each day. I think this is healthy for me, at least for a little while. I feel exhausted in about every aspect of my life-mental, emotional, physical, spiritual...but then I remember my last, well 3 years, and forgive myself for feeling that way (at least a little bit). It has been a crazy ride through my mid-20s, maybe it is time to slow down and refuel a little, stop expecting myself to be superwoman in an effort to prove to myself (and the world?) that I know what I'm doing, and that I don't make mistakes. Really though, who ever does know? And, aren't mistakes what make us human? (Easier said than lived...at least by me). It's all a journey though.

In the meantime, my new companion Max is curling up right next to my heart and keeping me in the present moment--and also giving me plenty of "legitimate" opportunities to take cat naps with him!!

The fall winds are definitely blowing through Asheville. Any time now, the hills will break out in a symphony of color as "leaf season" descends upon the northwestern corner of NC. I'm almost ready for it, but just barely. Summer seemed so short, but that's time. It must speed up with age, or something. (Although this year in general has sort of melted away and slipped through the cracks, like an ice cube left on a picnic table out in the sun-just disappeared for the most part; I know, I know, it's not over yet :)).

Well, I think that's all for now.  

Changes

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes! (well, can't you always really say that about life?)

So, it's almost September already and, although I'm not 100% sure how, I have managed to arrive here with it in (mostly) one piece. Thank heavens! The last few weeks have been full of a lot of remembering-what my life like was last August, or the August before, or the August before that. Each year has been so different! I must say, even though I do like variety, I'm ready for the swings to be a little less drastic than they have been the last few years.

So, the great change news is that I landed a new massage job that I'm really excited about. I'm working as an independent contractor at a Chiropractor's office literally a minute walk from my house. The practice has been there almost 20 years and I really like the staff and the doctor who works there. I'm getting paid a fair split for my work (especially for this area) and am still free to practice elsewhere. So far, it is going really well there and I am so grateful to have gotten the job! By far the most important change this makes in my life is that, by the middle of September I will be paying my bills primarily with massage work! Definitely a first. Does that mean I am officially a massage therapist then??

Another big change that effects me but really isn't mine, is that Robin started classes this week at Daoist Traditions where she will spend the next four years getting a Masters in Oriental Medicine and becoming a Licensed Acupuncturist. This means she is going to be super busy between work, full-time school, and studying. Maybe it's time for me to make a few more friends in the area...I'm so excited for her and am looking forward to being proxy to her learning, I'm sure I'll pick a few more things up!

I am still loving Asheville, particularly the climate. Summer was a little on the hot side, but we survived sans AC and now you can feel a hint of fall in the air with a nice breeze, days in the 80s nights in the 60s...it's lovely. Plus, it will continue to be so for another 3 months! The house we moved into feels like home. The location is great (although we wish there were fewer speedy loud scooters zipping by), the space is great, the housemates are great. Overall a nice shift, although I do miss the pool from the condo quite a bit...but the trade-offs of moving have been well worth it. The cats continue to entertain constantly, they are both so goofy and quirky. We are happy to find that they are both terrified by (moving) cars and are very good at running the other direction when one is even thinking of getting close to them.

And life goes on...

The Move

Well the month of May...and June...have flown by!! Robin and I moved into a new house in West Asheville the first of the month right after mom and dad came for a visit. We spent a few days with them in Charleston, SC at the beach, drove back on a Wednesday night, packed our entire house up on Thursday, rented a U-haul and moved everything Friday, then both went to work all day Saturday and Sunday. The ensuing weeks have been absolutely crazy, but I for one am really happy to be in the new place (even though I loved the old place too!). We moved in with a friend, Caitlin, who used to live with a mutual friend Robin and I met working at Mela. She is fabulous and it is actually really nice to be sharing space with her.

We are living in an actual house now that is newly remodeled, and so is very nice and new and clean. The owner bought it and renovated it with hopes to sell it but it has sat empty for too long and he decided to rent it instead. It is really wonderful to have a yard and a house feel; it is definitely different than living in a the condo. The best part though is the house's location. West Asheville has it's own small town, community feel with it's own collection of restaurants etc. Both Robin and I are working over here, which means we now walk to work and sometimes go several days without actually getting in the car to go anywhere. I LOVE it! The cats are having a little bit of a rough time adjusting, but are slowly coming around. We are (finally) almost settled in. There are pictures on the walls, no more boxes and we we just bought a few more rug for the floors today, which already makes it feel a tad cozier.

I am working at the garden 3 days a week and loving it, even if all I do some days is weed. I also have one regular shift as a receptionist at the acupuncture clinic and am starting to pick up some on massage clients, which is so good and I am increasingly enjoying practicing. Starting July 1 I will be renting about 15 hours a week in the space I used to have an office in, which I am excited about. Between there and the space in my house, I have a decent amount of availability without intruding too much on the home environment. Plus it is a 10 minute walk from where I live.

I spent last week back in Driggs visiting family and friends. Despite the (typical) mid-June rainy/cold weather, I had a wonderful visit. It was also nice to come home to Asheville after the visit. That is a pretty significant shift really, to refer to coming back to Asheville as coming home! All in all, things are going really well and I'm happy. I do not often know what to expect a week from now, but that is part of the beauty-working on the present moment!

Exclamation Mark

I started working last weekend at the Sunny Pointe Cafe's organic garden in West Asheville, via a reference from a friend I used to work with at Mela (who also works in the garden). It is so enjoyable. In three and a half days there I have already learned so much, I can only imagine how I'll feel after the whole season!
 
The garden manager is an excellent person to be working with, she is very knowledgeable and, for a lack of a better word, real. My first day working, one of the restaurant staff asked her if he would be able to pull a sucker off of a Dogwood tree in the garden and get it to grow at his house. Her response was, "First, don't call them suckers, it hurts their feelings! And yes, you can get a start off of the tree..." and proceeded to tell him how. She actually told me...or, more like gave me permission, to work slower yesterday. I have never had a job where I've been told to work less efficiently! She said something like, "When you're moving too fast, it stresses the plants out. They can feel your energy. You may think I'm crazy, but they can. Make sure you're grounded." I love it!!!

This month has been crazy, good, busy wonderful and full of constant changes and transitions. In all truth, my whole last year fits under this description, but this month is more than the normal. I think it may be something about the time of year, many of the people I know are having a busy-yet very fulfilling-month. It is incredible how much can happen in even one afternoon somedays. I am also doing a fair amount of reflecting on 1 year ago and how different my life looked then. It's crazy. I am so grateful for it all though!

My parents will be visiting in 10 days and Robin and I are greatly anticipating their visit. They will spend a few days here in Asheville with us, then the four of us are heading to Charleston, SC for a family beach vacation! Then Robin and I will come back on the 2nd or 3rd of June and pack up our house and move to West Asheville...and then summer is here somehow.

I have realized that this post has an inordinate amount of exclamation marks! I guess that is me trying to pass along the momentum life is carrying for me right now. At this moment, I sort of feel like I'm on top of a wave and have really no choice but to ride it into shore and hope it gets me all the way there. Exciting.

Well, that is all my fingers seem to want to type out right now. So ta-ta!

Buddy and Pickle: The Dynamic Duo

I have resisted creating a post dedicated primarily to the two felines that share our house, although I am not entirely sure why because they are a constant source of entertainment, love, and discussion for me and my sister. You may have to be a cat person to appreciate any of this, or you may have to know our cats personally, or you may decide this entire post is not worth your time. So be it.

Suspect #1: Buddy (aka the King of the Condominium Complex or Big Baby)

Without providing a long history and personality profile for Buddy (and trust me, I could-there is SO much personality in both cats, which is part of what makes them fun!), but, without doing so, let's just preface this with the explanation that Buddy is an extremely picky and particular cat who acts like a spoiled prince half the time (he will literally only eat one kind of cat food and currently refuses to use the litter box because he has to share with Pickle). The other half the time he is acting like a wild king of the jungle animal, prowling outside, moving stealthily and always looking oh-so cool.

I recently sold the bed and bedroom set that Noah and I had bought when we first moved out. The bed was a super soft, HUGE, king size bed that Buddy had claimed as his own. He would sprawl out across the whole thing like he owned it. I now have a double bed that is much smaller and not quite as soft. Buddy has decidedly boycotted it. He took one look at it, turned his kingly nose up and started sleeping in the chair in my sister's bedroom (instead of the couches) almost just to prove a point ("If that is what you are going to give me to sleep on, then I am disowning you as my den mother. Your sister is now who I answer to.") So, for the last week or so, my sister and I have swapped cats. Her cat, Pickle, has been sleeping in my room, while Buddy sleeps in hers.

However, a few days ago Robin emptied out her dresser and left for work, leaving the clothes piled on her chair and bed. Buddy came in from a night out ready to curl up and sleep. He sat with me for a few minutes on the couch, then hopped down and walked towards the bedrooms. He caught himself mid-stride heading towards my room, remembered what was awaiting him, and turned to the right towards Robin's room instead. A few minutes later he walked out of her room with a distressed "meee-ooouuuww" and looked up at me, then back at Robin's room, then at my door, then back at me and meowed again. At this point, I remembered that the chair was not available for him to sleep on and had a hard time not laughing at him, although he was in a very real and apparent state of distress. He even went so far as to walk up to the edge of my room, stare into it as if debating the importance of his boycott, then change his mind. He eventually ended up next to me on the couch. Robin's chair remained covered for a few days and last night he finally broke down and slept on my bed. I think he feels like he made his point.

Suspect #2: Pickle (aka Pretty, Pretty, Princess or Sexy Mama)

Pickle is a total sweetheart and is still growing into cathood. When she first moved in, she would only sleep on the floor in some tucked away corner, heaven forbid your lap! Nowadays though, she is queen of the lap sitting and will follow Robin around in the morning until she sits down for breakfast, then will dutifully hop up on Robin's lap with this look of pure pleasure on her face.

Pickle has this habit of opening doors by standing on her hind legs and pushing on the middle of the door--this works great going into rooms, but when she does it going out of rooms, it simply closes the door more. She has this game she plays with the door when trying to get out of a room though. After "opening" it and having it still be closed she'll coyly sit down next to the door, drop to the floor and start rolling around in this seductive "look at me" fashion; 50% of the time, as she's rolling around, her paws will sort of pull the bottom of the door towards her, thereby opening the door.

So now, 100% of the time, with any closed door that she wants opened (that doesn't easily push open) she puts on this show, hoping her cuteness will open the door for her. The best is when she does it at the pantry door where her food is kept (which is a sliding closet type door). Starting at 3:30 or 4 in the afternoon, she'll walk over and try her "trick" on the door every so often hoping that maybe THIS time it will work. It is absolutely adorable and sometimes, it does sort of work because, by being so darned cute, she'll get Robin or I to feed her a few minutes early.


Anyway, that's a little about our two cats who totally keep our life interesting. They are such a wonderful lesson in unconditional love (both giving and receiving) in part because they can drive us crazy as often as they make our hearts melt. Without them though, the house would feel empty!

Quintessential Asheville

I was in the DC area last week and returned to Asheville Saturday evening, welcomed by warm, sunny weather with the classic mountain breeze blowing through the trees. I checked the mail to find Robin's (acceptance) letter to Daoist Traditions, an acupuncture school located in the nearby Montford district in a big, beautiful old house right next to a park.

She called a few minutes later wondering if I was home yet. She'd spent the day over in West Asheville at an all-day, free outdoor concert featuring local bands, local beers, and local culture.

We decided to go out for dinner to celebrate her acceptance into acupuncture school and waited 5 minutes for an outdoor table at the Laughing Seed Cafe-a completely vegetarian restaurant boasting a wide variety of meal options. While dinning, a Hare Krishna group walked by beating a drum and singing Kirtan (yes, like you always see in the movies). A few minutes later a guy dressed in a nun's habit riding a 10+ foot tall bicycle came riding by, did a few circles while shouting something we couldn't quite understand outside of the restaurant and headed back down the street. May I note, none of this struck us as out of the ordinary.

After dinner, we decided to wander around downtown a bit, since the weather was beautiful and people where out and about on the street. We stopped and listened to a bluegrassy/washboard playing band on some random street corner for 5 or 10 minutes; all the members wearing plaid somewhere on their outfit, with beards and a backcountry look to them. (At one point, a small group walked by dressed in black and white, top hats, petticoat dresses and big black boots-it seemed so normal Robin and I only noticed them because of the stark contrast between them and the band!)

We sat for a few minutes in a little park downtown, people watching-our favorite sighting being a pregnant lesbian couple (only one of them) that came and sat on a bench away for a few minutes. To top the evening off, we drank some local Kombucha and homemade chocolate mousse while listening to (another) local Jazz duo at the French Broad Chocolate Lounge before strolling back to the car and coming home.

What an Asheville evening! Robin and I joke sometimes that it is nice to finally live somewhere that we feel like the "normal" ones every now and again. Although, truth is, we both love being surrounded by all the freedom of expression, personalities, and general avant garde energy and way of life that can be found in this area. Plus the weather is fantastic. Right now, we are willing the swimming pool gods to convince the association of our condominium complex to open the pool soon, because it is definitely nice enough for it!

A Return to the Wandering

It has, literally, been months since last writing a post. In this time I swear I have flown to the moon and back at least a few times-so much has been shifting, growing, leaving, changing, not changing, you know, the norm. I lived at Yogaville for the months of December, January, and February filling my days and my life with a large variety of activities that I need not go into here because, well, it would take awhile. Needless to say, the three months away were just what the doctor ordered and I returned to Asheville March 1st. Since then, I have been readjusting and regrouping once again. I have not been working which has really turned out to be a blessing in disguise, but did not feel like it for a few weeks last month. I also will refrain from a blow by blow account of my last 5-6 weeks home, needless to say it has not all been easy, but all of it has been worthwhile.

So, with that quick fill in, that brings us to now, this moment today when I, for some reason beyond my understanding, chose to sit down once again in front of my computer and log onto "Constant Wanderings" with the intention of writing a post. (I believe I also changed the settings again so you don't need a password to read this, people seemed to be having problems with it and it truly doesn't feel necessary to me any longer).

I am remembering when I first created this blog, nearly three years ago in Driggs as I was preparing to travel the world, for who knew, 1 year?, 2 years? as long as my money and my enthusiasm lasted. I was searching (as I always have, still am, and will likely always be!) for, I'm not sure what. But searching. How appropriate a name I chose for this blog. I am always constant in my wanderings. But aren't we all? Change is inevitable and wandering is often how I feel in transition.

Today, I am a different person than the girl who wrote the first entry. To begin with, I feel less like a girl and more of a woman, although I have always been a bit of both. I live on the opposite side of the country from where I grew up (and no, Teton Valley, I do not envy your double digit inches of recent snow fall. I slept with my window open last night, woke up to spring songbirds and am surrounded by the earth coming alive around me; but to each their own =)). In many ways I feel like I have been turned inside out and run through the washing machine multiple times over the last three years. I am hoping now that I have finally been hung out on the line to dry. To reorient. To try this new space on for size for (at least) a year or two.

This entry feels perhaps a bit vague, but I know of no other way to bring it all up to date. I do not even have the words to share with you the happenings of the last several months, partly because it would fill a book, and partly because I can find no words adequate enough to capture so much of my recent experiences. I know, me, at a loss for words. Incredible.

Perhaps the next truth is that I feel a bit vague these days; so that is what I can share. I feel a little devoid of form, still blurry around the edges looking at myself through a fog. Detached yet fully present and undoubtedly moving forward. I do not think that I am alone in this feeling. Or really alone ever. And that seems like a pretty solid place to start from. So, here's to the fog clearing not only for myself, but for everyone around the world! Good luck!