A Return to the Wandering

It has, literally, been months since last writing a post. In this time I swear I have flown to the moon and back at least a few times-so much has been shifting, growing, leaving, changing, not changing, you know, the norm. I lived at Yogaville for the months of December, January, and February filling my days and my life with a large variety of activities that I need not go into here because, well, it would take awhile. Needless to say, the three months away were just what the doctor ordered and I returned to Asheville March 1st. Since then, I have been readjusting and regrouping once again. I have not been working which has really turned out to be a blessing in disguise, but did not feel like it for a few weeks last month. I also will refrain from a blow by blow account of my last 5-6 weeks home, needless to say it has not all been easy, but all of it has been worthwhile.

So, with that quick fill in, that brings us to now, this moment today when I, for some reason beyond my understanding, chose to sit down once again in front of my computer and log onto "Constant Wanderings" with the intention of writing a post. (I believe I also changed the settings again so you don't need a password to read this, people seemed to be having problems with it and it truly doesn't feel necessary to me any longer).

I am remembering when I first created this blog, nearly three years ago in Driggs as I was preparing to travel the world, for who knew, 1 year?, 2 years? as long as my money and my enthusiasm lasted. I was searching (as I always have, still am, and will likely always be!) for, I'm not sure what. But searching. How appropriate a name I chose for this blog. I am always constant in my wanderings. But aren't we all? Change is inevitable and wandering is often how I feel in transition.

Today, I am a different person than the girl who wrote the first entry. To begin with, I feel less like a girl and more of a woman, although I have always been a bit of both. I live on the opposite side of the country from where I grew up (and no, Teton Valley, I do not envy your double digit inches of recent snow fall. I slept with my window open last night, woke up to spring songbirds and am surrounded by the earth coming alive around me; but to each their own =)). In many ways I feel like I have been turned inside out and run through the washing machine multiple times over the last three years. I am hoping now that I have finally been hung out on the line to dry. To reorient. To try this new space on for size for (at least) a year or two.

This entry feels perhaps a bit vague, but I know of no other way to bring it all up to date. I do not even have the words to share with you the happenings of the last several months, partly because it would fill a book, and partly because I can find no words adequate enough to capture so much of my recent experiences. I know, me, at a loss for words. Incredible.

Perhaps the next truth is that I feel a bit vague these days; so that is what I can share. I feel a little devoid of form, still blurry around the edges looking at myself through a fog. Detached yet fully present and undoubtedly moving forward. I do not think that I am alone in this feeling. Or really alone ever. And that seems like a pretty solid place to start from. So, here's to the fog clearing not only for myself, but for everyone around the world! Good luck!